I was recently in a series of conversations with senior women executives and kept hearing a version of the same sentence: “I’m not sure I’m ready for that role yet.”
What struck me was not the hesitation.
It was that, in many cases, they were already doing the job.
At the same time, I was speaking with equally strong male candidates describing how they would grow into similar roles.
Not better. Not worse. Just a different way of showing up.
Then I came across this cartoon in Commercial Observer last week.
“Men are promoted for potential, whereas women are promoted for proof.”
It felt uncomfortably accurate.
From what we have observed across years of interviews, the pattern is hard to ignore.
Men, more often than not, speak to the job they want next, even if they are not fully there yet.
Women, more often than not, anchor in what they have already proven and refine their answers until they are certain it is exactly right.
And one more dynamic that shows up consistently.
Women are far more likely to raise their hand only when they check every box.
Men are often comfortable raising their hand when they meet many of them.
Neither is inherently better. But the outcomes can be very different.
Because hiring decisions are not made in a vacuum. They are made in moments. In conversations. In perception.
And perception is shaped not only by what is true but by how it is communicated.
Some lead with possibility. Some lead with proof. Some speak in progress. Some speak in certainty.
Not always. But often enough that it becomes a pattern worth paying attention to.
So the question is not who is right. The question is what this costs.
How many roles are won because someone was willing to step forward early. How many are missed because someone waited until everything felt fully formed.
This is not about changing who you are. It is about understanding how you are perceived.
For men, where might you benefit from anchoring your confidence more clearly in evidence?
For women, where might you already be ready, before it feels perfect?
Because the more I observed this pattern across conversations, across candidates, across industries, the harder it became to ignore.
And it raises another question. What is the downside for men being evaluated primarily on potential? Are they more likely to struggle once in the role? Research from MIT Sloan School of Management suggests yes. Women who were passed over consistently outperformed their stated potential scores.
I have asked Lauren Clayton to share her perspective on the behavioral side of this in the comments below.
And ladies, many of you have already heard me say this. But this is for all of you.
To every woman who said “I am not sure I am ready yet.” You probably were. You just needed someone to tell you.
And to the gents. Push the women around you to put their hand up more often. Be that someone.